Is someone in your life, either at work, in your social circle, or in your family an emotional drain? Do they seldom have anything positive to say? Do they suck you into their pity party? Do you play along and agree with their every statement? Trust me. That’s their objective. They need that negative emotional fix. If you play their game then they win. They’ll continue to play the game as long as you are a cooperating partner.

What if you change the rules? How do I change the rules?

Good question.

Instead of agreeing with their negativity, why not make a positive statement in return. Don’t let the negative find a home in your responses. For example:
You’re sitting in traffic with your carpool buddies. One of them turns around and says:
“Dammit, this happens every day at this time.” A typical response might be something like:
“Oh, my God you’re right. This really sucks!”

Your buddy gets his negative approval. Now how do you feel? Your stress level rising? Your pulse racing? Tapping your fingers or hands on your thigh? Do you feel good? Do you feel pleasurable? Bet you don’t!

Alright. Let’s try this again.

“Dammit, this happens every day at this time.” What’s your response?
How bout:
“Well at least we can relax,” a smile and maybe a little chuckle. “Think I’ll pull out my book and read for awhile.”

Your buddy loses that round with you, so he shakes his head and turns to another passenger, trying again. He’ll continue until he gets the response he’s looking for. You can now smile to yourself realizing that you beat the emotional vampire at his own game. You won’t feel that stress. You won’t feel that anger. When you arrive at work you’ll be relaxed. You can’t say the same for your buddy and his victim.

This will work EVERY time. Try it. You’ll be amazed at the results.
—
Chris