When you see someone living something awful, a rocket of desire for their resolution shoots out of you. And then, if you start focusing upon their resolution, you’ll start feeling better right away. And now, you’re part of the current that is part of the solution.

May 7, 2018


Have you known this to happen?  If you’re in a low place and someone you know is in a lower place, see if reaching out to them and offering an ear, offering a hug, offering advice if they ask for it, you just may find yourself feeling better.


Image from:


One of my friends has told me repeatedly that she’d love to help me when she can clearly see that I’m in distress. She knows me so well that even when I THINK I’m hiding it well, she sees through the shade.  


One of my INFP personality traits is that I have a difficult time with sharing my challenges, EVEN with my closest friends and family. I’d rather help others deal with their own issues. I’m doing my best to overcome that, but after years of living that trait, it doesn’t come easy to stop doing so.  


I understand that by sharing our own challenges we show our vulnerability and that can deepen a relationship.  If we stay closed off, if we don’t share what is troubling us, our friends may look elsewhere for people who will.  If we long for an intimate relationship with another person, then:
–We have to learn to trust them.  
–We have to remove our own walls.


–Once we begin to show our vulnerabilities,
–Once we open our emotional wounds to those we trust or are trying to build trust with, we will find that relationship we have been searching for.


It won’t happen overnight.  However if you want to build commitment, if you want others to feel good about themselves when they are in distress, then it is important to let your own walls down.  Let others inside. Let them help you, because as Abraham-Hicks states above:
By helping someone else, you are also helping yourself.


The concentration is off your own challenges and onto someone else.  Thus you’re not dwelling on your own situation. Here’s a writing example for those who write:
Have you ever faced a situation where you’re blocked?  By moving to another project, whether it’s another writing project or some other creative endeavor you do on the side, your thought gets refocused on the new project, freeing you up.  Quite often by removing yourself from the block, you get unblocked because you’re no longer focused on that.


So my advice to those of you in the INFP personality who have a challenging time letting your guard down with your closest friends and family, think about how this affects THEM.  They may need to focus on something else while dealing with their own issues. Help them by letting them help you.


Be Happy!  Be Well! Be Positive!
Blessings to you.


Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;
We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.


3 thoughts on “A Helping Hand Can Help You

  1. Lisa

    Good advice!

  2. Martha Orlando

    The writer’s block illustration is a perfect example of this, Chris. I’ve learned over the years that when the words/ideas won’t come, to simply turn away and focus on other things. Before I know it, the path is cleared, and I can return to the business at hand. Helping others does help us to forget our own problems for a time, and perhaps, will show us that our struggles aren’t as large as we have imagined.

  3. RAAAckerman, PhD, EA

    It’s immaterial what alphabet soup you own on the Myers-Briggs scale, helping others always helps oneself as well. And,sharing helps us explain what we feel or do enough to let us often see the trees among the forest.

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