Being an introvert at heart, I need more “ME” time than others may. As with writing, if I don’t get enough alone time I get irritable. I snap at people when I don’t necessarily mean to. It’s why I sometimes bail on pre planned events. Understand it has nothing to do with those people I made plans with and everything to do with me.
Image from:
Flickr
Being an introvert at heart, I’ve always known I needed extra time to come down from activity but it wasn’t until a little over a year ago that I understand why. I’d been seeing the Myers-Briggs tests pop up all over the Internet and finally decided to see what they were all about. After taking a few tests over the course of a week or so I discovered that I was on the INFP scale. Everything finally fell into place for me and I understood WHY I required so much downtime.
Being an introvert at heart, can have its detriment.
My friends and family can sometimes misinterpret my needed “ME” time for being antisocial. Seeing as several people I’m my circle are extroverted, they get especially anxious (and I use that word for lack of a stronger word) when I decline invitations.
After a full day at work where I HAVE to be on, the LAST thing I want to do is to go out and be on. It’s why I love living alone. I can go home and decompress, relax and write. Writing, as anyone who truly understands who I am is how I decompress. If I don’t have time to be alone I don’t fare well with others.
I wind up snapping when I shouldn’t.
I wind up creating friction.
I wind up finding somewhere to hide if I’m out with people
Being an introvert at heart, I don’t know that I could EVER live with someone full time, unless there was a safe place for me to run away to when I needed to decompress. This could be one factor why I haven’t been successful in finding a long term relationship. What I want from a relationship might not exist. MOST of the time I’m pretty happy with the way my life is proceeding. Loneliness doesn’t enter into my lexicon all that often. When it does, it vanishes almost as quickly as it arrived. I WOULD sometimes like to have a close friendship with someone who understands that when I need to pull away it has nothing to do with them.
Being an introvert at heart can be challenging when I’m doing my best to find a relationship.
Because I need time to myself when embarking on a new friendship whether, romantic or platonic, time needs to be devoted to building that trust, to finding common interests. It can cause ANY introvert a flaming desire to run if too much time is spent in the company of others. Typically, for myself, I can spend one on one time with someone after I’ve become comfortable.
A first time meeting is not a good thing to witness at least with me. I don’t know what interests the other person has and it can be quite awkward which probably explains why I don’t get many second chances. The few times I have, my relationships have succeeded beyond any expectation.
As long as my friends and family give me the latitude I need, my life and my current and new friendships will continue to prosper. I just need to learn to speak up when I’m becoming overloaded. Being an introvert at heart, however, it can be challenging for us to speak up. We are much better at expressing ourselves through the written word. It’s why so many introverts thrive as writers and artists. Wwe just need to be given the proper respect we deserve and we can thrive during any circumstance that arises.
Be Happy! Be Well! Be Positive!
Blessings to you.
—
Chris
Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;
We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying. For there truly is no end.
Martha Orlando
As you already know, Chris, I’m an introvert at heart, too, but I’ve learned over the years to balance my need for alone time with “others” time. No, it’s not always easy, and if I don’t get my quiet time, I become frustrated and out-of-sorts, just as you do. Praying you’ll find the balance!
Blessings!
RAAAckerman, PhD, EA
Great explanation of life as an introvert.