The last couple of months I’ve written about my NDE as a theme. That was planned. This month, an unplanned theme evolved:
Introversion/INFP. As of this writing, there are three columns in this theme.
Telling an introvert child to go to their room after doing something wrong may not be the deterrent you thought. We know that introverts thrive on alone time and family should be aware of their children’s personality type by the time they’re old enough to start needing discipline.
You should consider other deterrents to keep your introverted child on the right path. Sending an introverted child to their room after doing something wrong may have the opposite effect of deterrence, not the child won’t understand they are being scolded. They will. However, that child will likely find solace in the alone time, especially if she were acting out because she’d had too much together time. Let’s not forget that introverts can handle only so much people time. If they’ve been over saturated, the introvert will lash out, they will run and hide or they will shut down. Scolding a child for their natural behavior may not be in the best interest of the child or the parents. It could lead to further disruptive behavior.
I’m not saying to scold your child by putting them in a situation where they will be more uncomfortable. Maybe sit down and discuss what YOU THINK they did that needed to be reprimanded. If you’re open with them, you may discover something about your own parenting. You may discover something about your child as well. Don’t be so quick to judge. Don’t judge without first considering what you are judging. Just like don’t say the first thing that comes to your mind.
Weigh your words, your judgements and your actions carefully BEFORE putting them out, because one your words, your actions and your judgements are out there, they can’t be put back. Those things can hurt anyone. Introverts are especially vulnerable to being emotionally scarred. Be careful when you consider doing hurtful things do an introvert. They may recover, but they may shut you out of their lives if you continue to hurt them.
Teaching children right from wrong, scolding them when they’ve done wrong is an important part of growing up. It’s important however, to take into account the type of child you have. You can’t reprimand all children in the same way. Not everyone responds in comparable fashion. It’s your task as a parent to understand your child’s personality and what works as deterrence and what doesn’t. Reprimanding bad behavior should be part of growing up. However, you don’t want your son or daughter to wind up being distant either physically or emotionally when they are adults because you hurt them. I’m not saying that reprimanding bad behavior shouldn’t happen, because you want to be your child’s best friend. Just that you have to consider the best way to scold your children and to follow up on the topic of today’s column, sending an introvert to their room might NOT be the BEST solution when we all understand that introverts crave alone time.
Just something to take under advisement.
Be Happy! Be Well! Be Positive!
Blessings to you.
Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;
We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying. For there truly is no end.
Martha J Orlando
I was always delighted to be sent to my room! Great advice, Chris.