I touched on this topic a while ago with Silence Is Golden. I wanted to return to it again today. Of all the questions I regularly receive, the one that most distresses me is:
Why are you so quiet?
Followed by
Talk to me.

Generally these two sentences come from people who know me well and they are aware of my personality. I think that’s why I get agitated each time I’m asked this. Most of the time they want to engage in small talk. A few of them are uncomfortable with silence. They feel like maybe the person not talking is angry. In my case as with many introverts, small talk is cringeworthy. We’d rather stay quiet then engage if there is nothing fulfilling to discuss.




Ask me about my passions and I won’t shut up.
Ask me about the latest book I’m reading.
Ask me where I last took my camera.
Ask me what I’m writing.


Get me to engage about what makes me tick, then you’ll be wishing for blessed silence.
Introverts are only quiet when someone tries engage them in small talk.
Introverts are only quiet when they need time to recharge.
Introverts are only quiet when they are sizing up a new possible friend.


I don’t know if it’s an introvert trait. I’ve never asked other introverts. As for me, I can generally tell within ten minutes of meeting someone for the first time what kind of relationship we will have going forward.
If we’re just going to pass through for a temporary time.
If we’re going to stay in touch occasionally
If we’re going to be bonded for life.


My radar for determining how a relationship will come to pass has been pretty spot on. Can another introvert let me know whether they’re radar works the same way? Can my fellow introverts determine fairly quickly what kind of relationship they will have after a short time?


If the people in my life would only understand how I feel when they attempt to engage me in small talk and stop asking me why I’m so quiet, I’d be in a better position to engage.


Am I the only one?


Be Happy!  Be Well! Be Positive!
Blessings to you.


Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;
We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.


4 thoughts on “Why Are So Quiet/Talk To Me

  1. Martha J Orlando

    Chris, I can usually size people up fairly quickly, but I’m not sure that’s a natural characteristic of the introvert or not. And yes, small talk irks me to no end. Lol!

  2. Marge Cohen

    I never noticed that you were quiet.

  3. Roy A Ackerman, PhD, EA

    As I suspected, find the bellybutton (the weak spot) and the words tumble out

  4. RAAckerman PhD EA

    As I suspected, find the bellybutton (the weak spot) and the words tumble out

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